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Would it freak you out to work with someone who is unabashedly reading this book? Cause Cortnee, well, she's a little alarmed. Does it shock you that people really believe that Hindus are just Christians gone astray?

AND, what's up with the no pictures? You can send pictures to N'3lvra now, and she can post them with hopefully some witty caption. Hopefully. No guarantees. It might be stupid, especially if the guy with the book gets her brainwashed. If that happens, tie yourself to a tree and lean down to grab me, eh?

How bout the nearly seamless use of the word, "unabashedly"?

Dear Court,
Now that I've seen your picture, I don't think the haircut is that bad. It looks fine to me. And I didn't realize what a strong chin you have either. But I should have guessed that.

A fan.

Dear Fan,

Hey, thanks, I guess.

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Dear Mahatma-sri-nee,

What an inquiring mind your 13 year old has. I also applaud her for her choice in reading material, however perhaps she'd rather avoid the 911 experience with Granny when she gazes lovingly upon her dear little grand daughter and the dildo ad. I say persuade her to leave that rag home and then have a look- see for yourself when the kids are safely on the plane. Write a few of those addresses down , not that a girl like Cort-nee hasn't already written them down before.

By the way, Vegan Virgin Valentine sounds pretty good.

Dear You,
Excellent advice, all of it. I kept the magazine all for myself and sent her with some fine reading about smack users and lots of stuff about Kurt Cobain.

Don't even get me started on a gigantic, deserved rant about continental airlines, cause I've got work to do.

Mhatma

Cort-Nee on her way to the beach. She is deathly afraid of sunburn and other stuff too. 

Dear Court, check this out for some potential bumpersticker material or however you as an astute advisor may choose to use it.

What are you serving for dinner by the way? Not to get too personal, but it is important to have a plan for these things in advance.

Yours,

Kortnee needs some advice. Should she let her lovely daughter bring a copy of this magazine on the airplane, and to visit her very straight new England-ish grandparents? Chortney is very proud of this daughter who chooses to read feminist propaganda instead of teen fashion mags, but my question really boils down to this: is a magazine with large glossy photo advertisements for vibrators appropriate for a young teen? Or her grandmother?

I do like what Al Franken says, that basically stupid white men will be going extinct shortly, and women will have to take over their workload. To do this, they need to know: where to buy a step ladder (Home Depot), and where to buy a vibrator. But 13 seems so young for a step ladder and stuff.

dear kurttknee,

love the black thing you got going on...kinda goth if you know where i'm coming from. a few points that i have observed in this odd world of ours that you may want to comment on.

1--why must all the 12-20 year old males wear underwear under their bathing suits and then roll their bathing suits down so that we can all see their boxers. do they not realize how stupid this looks. do they really think that young female types are turned on bythe joe boxer label? am i getting too old?

2--is it just me or does john edwards remind you of some sort of weird combo clone of bob eubanks (the newlywed game) and john denver? i guess that's better than the appearance (no offense intended because of you know the common haircut and all) of his running mate which on a good day makes me want to hide.

3--can i vote for teresa? i like how she still wears red what with the all the heinz ketchup jokes and all and isn't that reason enough to be president?

a reader afraid of capitols

dear reader,
this time, courtnee will indulge your pitiful little phobia, because that's the kind of girl she is. (normally, "the kind of girl she is" would be capitolized, fyi).don't expect this again, though, because she thinks it's kind of dorky to write with no caps.

i am in complete agreement about the bad hair. i thought the newlywed game was hilarious when i was about 7, but sheesh, after you're married it's just not funny anymore. ("not funny" would have been in caps if you weren't so freakin phobic.) there are many many hairdressers out there, chortnee knows this for a fact because she in her whole long life, has never gone to the same one twice. which may seem like it's straying from my point, but it is exactly the point i'm trying to make, which is that it takes effort to have bad hair, going from town to town giving free-rein to random, newly-ordained people with scissors. it just doesn't seem like the democratic ticket should be putting all that effort into the bad hair, but for once, cortnee feels part of an important trend, so what the hell.

Someone said Cou4rtn3ee would be an excellent candidate for the extreme makeover trifecta (looks, personality, job). But that is so unfair, because sheesh, I have a Great Job. Anyways, I woke up in Chicago the other day looking like this new picture, and I'm not happy. At least I have my kidney and all of my teeth.

N'3lvra, After the Makeover. She's Not Happy about this.